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Sweden

4 years and still here...

Geo tags: boden 

Descriptive tags: culture food fashíon people friends 

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I first joined this site to see if I was not the only "Indigenous Native American" (Pomo, Chippewa, and Yurok) living in Sweden? Thus far I've only come across people from Africa, Thailand, Germany etc places in Europe.

You may wonder "Why on earth are you in Sweden?" I married a swede and we have a little family, two sons, or how I like to say "little warrior tribe" growing here. I made the hardest decision back in 2006 to move to Sweden with my husband, away from my home in northern California "Coyote Valley Band Of Pomo Indians" tribe "reservation" where my family, friends and culture are.

It was/is hard adjustment for me. You would think the cold would be one of the hardest things for me to get used to. No, in fact it's the snow! Too much snow for my taste and living up in the northern part of Sweden, small town Boden, we get LOTS of it. Back home, the most snow we would get, for a day in one year, 2-5" inches and it would have metled away by evening. My family, when I was a child, we would have to take trips up in the mountains to actually play in the snow or travel down to Lake Tahoe to ski during winter. Now, I see snow for 5-6months straight! It's madness I tell you!

Summer time is also depressing for me. Random rainstorms whenever the weather feels like it. It's no wonder the people are pale and go to tanning salons. I'm tempted to do just that so I can get my natural tan back. Don't get me wrong it gets warm here just not hot enough. In summer it tends to be from around 15 degrees Celsius to 32 degrees Celsius - sometimes even hotter. Though I being used to 45 plus degrees Celsius during my past summers in California, with no rain, you can see why I am struggling finding it normal to have random rain pours through june and july.

The People, would have to be the first thing I noticed once I arrived. How reserved everyone is. I know it differs from community, town, and city. But everywhere I have gone the swedish people have come across as "cold" or how my Dear Hubby likes to say "Cold Bastards" I have taken the time to learn the culture and still learning. Comparing to my home, where everyone is friendly and open, perhaps too open but you always have the feeling of being welcomed and accepted. People say "hi" and a wave. Here in Sweden, I get the impression of "I don't know you, so, I won't look at or talk to you. Cause you must be crazy" It seemed like the only time someone was actually friendly at first introduction was/is when they are/were drunk or at an appointment of some kind for example doctor appointment...

Friends, hard to come by. My husband has very few, they are nice but just not my type of group to hang with. My sister-in-law has introduced me to her group of friends. They are more around my age and you would think I would get along with them and I do but their maturity level just unnerves me. Those whom I can consider friends now are all classmates, besides children and marriages, the only thing we have in common is learning swedish. Sometimes communication between each other is limited. I don't know french, arabic thai, chinese etc..and they don't know english. We work hard together to learn swedish quickly to better communicate with each other. Still I get lonely and crave friendships.

Food, my oh my. Yes, BIG difference compared to back home. Portion size-wise Sweden has the best way. For example the price I pay for a meal at a resturant, for what little size portion here in Sweden, I could get two meals, with big size portions in an America resturant. Hubby likes to say "Everything's bigger in America" and really it is. Which is not good. No wonder we have obesity. America has so many temptations, and very cheap while the healthy stuff is expensive. Here in Sweden that's not the case. It is quite the opposite. I have seen Healthy foods sold cheaper than boxed sweets and goodies. Last time I visited California in summer 2009. My family thought I was starved, I was thinner than I had ever been but in a healthy way. Though my family thought I was not eating.

I don't think I will ever like the raw fish they like to eat here. Being one of the river people Yurok. I prefer it cooked or traditionally smoked. Traditional meatballs taste a lot like american "meatloaf" Before coming here, I never knew there was a thing about Knäckebröd "hardbread" for sandwiches or the idea of using butter instead of mayo. I will never get tired of seeing cringed looks from fellow swedes whenever I mention Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches. Highly amusing for me. I would lecture my Hubby about eating horse meat "hamburgarekött" I love horses, I have ridden horses, stepped on by a horse, fell off a horse and even been bit by a horse. I stood strong about not eating the meat for a full two years. then I got pregnant with our second son and caved in when I craved it for some strange reason and now I can fully say "I'll try anything once" I have to say though Buffalo Meat is the best meat in the world I have tasted so far. Many know it as American Bison, distantly related to the Aisan Water and African Buffalo, more closely related to the Wisent Bison. I was thrilled with being able to eat reindeer for the first time. It does have a different taste than Deer "Venison" meat. Both are equally tasteful.

Everyone is fit! well, nearly everyone, there are those few that let themselves go but that is their own fault. Swedish society is in the mindstate of being fit. Always out and about. It being riding bike, or just walking. The young and the elderly. It impresses me so much. While back in California everyone drives to get where they need to go or even just to "curise around" Even to the store that is only a 5-10minute walk away. And it is a rare site to see any elder walking somewhere. Public transportation in Sweden, is used routinely and not looked down upon. I will say in my hometown our public transportion "sucks" it really does. The busses are old and in desperate need of retirement or taken to "pimp my ride" for a drastic make-over. And if you do take the buss you are considered lower class "poor" and only "hobos" ride the buss.

Fashion, Never have I seen so many clothes shops in one little town! I noticed it is a lot different compared to America. There you can wear what you want to wear. Except work or school places, depending on your job and if there are dress codes. Here I figured its the same. But I have been feeling the pressure of needing to fit in. The women's fashion it appears to make sure you are feminine. The fashion has not really changed much since my first arrival. I feel like I have to start wearing highhealed shoes, or the "hookerboots" as I like to call them. In tight jeans, skirts, shorts or nylons. Long fashionable shirts, short or longsleeved with ruffles and coat upon coat with useless necklaces. I'm not big on jewlery though every outfit I've seen with women they have it! The men have it easier it seems. Needing to have tight jeans, and stylest shirts or cleancut tie suits. Very simple not as drastic as the women.

Hairstyle, most women I've seen wear cut it short. My hair of course is long. I keep it that way because it suits me and I only cut it when someone in my family dies or giving a braid to someone for good luck. I know crazy spiritual indian I am. I have woren my hair short once when I was a child and I swear I could have passed as my brother Tim's twin.

Makeup, ugh! I thought back home I had too much pressure to wear it, but here. They have shops just for makeup! I think it's something I would need to get used to but I can't stand any powder or form of coverup on my face or gook on my eyelashes. The most of anything I would wear is lip gloss or carmex.

It just makes me feel out of place. I am happy with my not so tight jeans, tennis shoes, simple tanktops, long hair and no makeup. Yet I feel the pressure of needing to fit in. I never had this problem until now. Sometimes I feel like I am losing myself. Caught in between having to conform to the society, or staying true to my roots, needing to stay strong in my beliefs, realizing I and my kids are the minority now.

But I'm still here. Looking forward to new beginings full with fun-filled, learning and sharing exciting adventures with my family and newfound friends.

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  • I was touched by reading about your experiences and feelings after moving to Sweden.I can imagine you must be feeling lonely very often coming from such a tight knit community.
    For me your adaption problems are very recognisable. The instinct of "the herd" is very strong here.
    I moved here from Holland which i thought would be quite similar to the Swedish culture. And we are mostly similar peoples in a lot of ways .
    How ever the biggest difference i think is not to care about your neighbour,and isolating you and your family socially. At first site this is so incredible contradictory to the unique social laws and right´s you have here.
    I looks like they prefer to pay the highest tax in the world ,so they don´t have to bother about the neighbour next door anymore. In a way they pay for the freedom not to be involved with anybody and sit undisturbed on there private little islands. And then the way people often think about foreigners.
    At first when i came here i thought the Swedes just din´t like foreigners , i think we confuse them a bit ,we foreigners are not "Jäm lika" but annarlunda och konstig. But they are often suspicious towards each other as well . Swedish people have never learned to be excited about different , they will try with all there power to avoid being confronted with different. At the same time this attitude makes sure that when they immigrate they are known to adapt very well to new cultures . See my point? Take your family including your husband and move back before you adept to much and don´t feel at home there anymore.
    Still i feel proud about this country when i tell my country man in Holland about it. I talk about the fast nature you have here , the space, the incredible amount of lakes and the fish you can actually eat . How you can wonder around for day´s in the north without meeting another soul. How this isolated and in depended thinking of the Swedes creates an own standard not much influenced by trends in the rest of the world ,an own standard for security and quality in all aspects of society and industry.
    In a recent survey they interviewed immigrated Swedish people and asked them about there memories and what they mist about there home country.
    The researchers where surprised by the fact that people missed favourite spots, the house they lived in , the lake where they used to fish, special food etc.. etc.......but very seldom they mentioned missing people ore old friends. Typical is´nt it. sorry if i bored you i suppose something was stirred up reading your piece, ha ha. All the best to you and your family!
  • hi tausha thanks for writing about my storys i am really hope to bee in sweden and make many kinds of foods by the oven so i need some one to help me to move to sweden by making invitation for me

    By ibrahem hamdan, 7 March 2010
  • Tausha A very Nice story
  • really nice story Tausha, thank you for sharing your feelings

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