The typical suede is tall, blond, blueeyed and wears a fur hat in the winter. He is by nature shy, reserved, serious,enterprising and dont want to be funny , he takes himself very seriously. He is also very keen on doing in their right order; every morning he gets up at 05:30 to get the time to read the morningpost. this also means that suedes read very slow since the workingday dont start until 08:00.
If you dont count himself, the suedes biggest interests are money, work, home, icehockey and his family...in that order. He also loves animals- especially dogs- and spend houres bicykling in the forrest dragging a big shepherd in its leash.
A Suede has his own teeth. He is usually punctual, honest, clean and lives by the law. A typical example of that showes at the crossingplace at the street. Dispyte the weather he will kindly wait until he gets the green light. He is rather soaked than crossing an empty street with a red ligt. Another example is that the suede always use the seatbelt, never drive drunk, always paying the TV-licens bill, normally leav his taxes in time, always brings two bags outside alking the dog ( to take up the shit) and never takes a bath after 22:00.
Typical for the suede is also that he is very carefull and almost never do anything impusive and spontanious..(possibly sneeze!): to him is all choices a question of life or dead. A simple thing as buying a cheese: Where other europeans takes anything, a suede can taste at least ten different kinds before he decides to buy 200 grams of Brie.
It is this carefullness that stoppes him from trowing himself into marriage! Instead he pics out a female and lives with her a coupple of yrs, get two kids and not until then, if she still seems okay, he propose!
Talking about marriage, the suedes dont have much in common with other european men. Everything a housewife can do, he can do better- from cocking and wasch up to sew buttons and fixing the kids clothes. Actually everything ( exept breastfeeding) is split equal.
He likes to be wellinformed and general knowlidge is a virtue. He spends houres finding as much information he can get on nuclear, third world economy, pollution, south africa and the sexual life of the centipede. He also showes interest in his neighbours name and work and other trivials.
Most suedes is very, very keen on keeping their bodies in shape. They spend the weekends running in the closest wood or is on a bike nailed to the cellarfloor. Due to the helth the suede has stopped with nicotine,sugar, drinking coofe in the evenings and talking to strangers. HE also goes to bed at 22:00.
The probably most facinating thing about the suede is his feelings for equalness. Everyone has to do as everyone else. To make it easier living by that rule, most suedes has the same lastname with a little variation- Svensson, Persson, Nilsson or Larsson. Suedes is also equal in the payrolls, they have equitable wage policy with taxes that regulate the taxes so everyone makes the same after taxes. Also, we have the same taste in furnitures and clothes, we think the same, we drive Volvo and goes on vacation on Mallorca.
A true suede refuses to knowlige that he has any prejudice what so ever. There is no differenses between suedes and forringers to a real swedish man! He is convinced of that there is no difference, although he has no greek, turkish, finnish, polish, or hungarian friends, he is convinsed exept their names, habits, growing weggies in the livingroom, always wear knives, robbing banks and elderly, takes the job s from the real suedes, making to many babies, beats up their wives and talkes swedish like thay have the whole mouth full of porridge.
Finally the suede loves the sun and the peacefullness in the countryside, hates queues, gets a rusch being the first people on the bus, dislike winter, enjoy sex, belives in what the goverment says, dont belive in god, worship Ingemar Stenmark, is a true patriot (wears the swedish flag on his underwear), goes to the liquerstore twice a week, spend cristmas with his parents, learning english at school and will definitely get insulted by a story like this!
I really hope no swedish man gets offended by this story..just having fun!